10 reasons why I don't like snow

So it snowed a lot this week. I think that might be my fault, I wanted snow, I thought it looked like fun when I saw other dogs playing in the snow on the TV, but when it came I didn't like it. Here's why -
1) It's cold. I have delicate paws and belly fur and I don't have a silly jumper to keep me warm so I don't want to be in it
2) When I go to the toilet it's really obvious where I went because it melts the snow. I'm a lady dog, I need to be more discreet
3) I don't get proper long walks. Mum and Dad say it's because I pull too hard on my walks and they don't want to fall over (that only happened once, it was an accident!) and so they take me for shorter walks
4) Snow covers up all the best smells. I walk along and where there was once a good smell by a lampost, now there is just a pile of snow. It makes a short walk even more boring.
5) Even worse than not being able to smell other dogs smells, they can't smell mine. So after all the effort I went to in marking my territory and claiming some bits that were a tiny bit dubious, I now have to do it all over again. And what if another doggy gets there first!
6) The birds that had stayed around have now flown south for winter. So although I was already banned from chasing ducks n to the canal, now I can't even look at the ducks and imagine chasing them.
7) Did I mention it makes my paws cold!
8) The rabbits go and hide underground or in the shed (yes mum and dad are stupid enough to have rabbits in their garden). So I can't even sit in the window and watch them any more.
9) I look really silly when I fall over. Did I mention I'm a pretty girl and I like to look ladylike? It does my image no good at all to fall on my belly with all my legs going in different directions. And sometimes it hurts
10) Snow men scare me. It is wrong to make people out of snow.I think they are real people sometimes and I get confused. I barked at one and it didn't move at all or go away. That confused and scared me. So I will be avoiding snow men from now on.
So I have made the choice to be a pretty lap dog from now on until it warms up. Mum agrees that I make a good lap dog. She says I'm cuddly. But she also says that lap dogs should be seen and not heard. I don't like the sound of that. I'm going to go away and rethink my decision, maybe I was a little hasty!
Lots of love

Poppy xxx
P.S. You will notice there are no photo's of me in the snow this week. That is because the only time mum managed to get me outside and get a camera out I was going to the toilet. And I stand by what I said, it is not ladylike for peole to see me doing my business.
Poppys mum - Just remember, I still have that photo. And I'm not above using it as black mail. You shred one more tennis ball this week and people see the picture!